**Start Math Class With a ***Chuckle*!

**How will we ever use negative numbers in the real world?**

*You haven't seen my bank account.*

**Hey, what's your sign?**

*Negative*

**What kind of roots does a "geom-e-tree" have?**

*Square roots*

**Why are the parentheses wearing blue ribbons?**

*Because they always come first*

**Why was the math teacher upset with cupid?**

*He kept changing "like terms" to "love terms."*

**Why was the math teacher upset with one of her students?**

*He kept asking, "What's the point?"*

**Parent: Why do you have that sheet of paper in a bowl of water?**

*Student: It's my homework. I am trying to dissolve an equation.*

**Teacher: Why don't you have your homework today?**

*Student: I divided by zero and the paper vanished into thin air.*

**How do equations get in shape?**

*They do multi-step aerobics.*

**Why did the variable add its opposite?**

*To get to the other side.*

**If you give 15 cents to one friend and 10 cents to another friend, what time is it?**

*A quarter to two.*

**What did the circle see when sailing on the ocean?**

*Pi rates.*

**Why did the variable break up with the constant?**

*The constant was incapable of change.*

**Son: Dad, what does it mean when someone tells me to give 110%**

*Dad: It means they didn't take Algebra.*

**Banker: Do you have any interest in taking out a loan?**

*Customer: If there's interest, I'm not interested.*

**Why did the shopper think the store was selling everything wholesale?**

*Because the store had two "half off" signs.*

**Why did the Moore family name their son Lester?**

*So he could be called "Moore" or "Less".*

**Why did the parents think their little variable was sick?**

*The nurse said he had to be isolated.*

**What did the math teacher do to prepare for class?**

She made a “less-than” plan.

**What did the doctor say to the multi-step inequality?**

*I can solve your problem with a few operations.*

**How does a math teacher get a compound fracture?**

*She breaks her (h)AND *

**What does an absolute- value expression work on when it goes to the gym.**

*Its “abs”!*

**What did Miss Manners say to the inequality symbol?**

*It's not polite to point.*

**What do a Math teacher and an English teacher have in common?**

*They both can make a "pair-a-graph".*

**Why did the y-variable leave the city?**

*He was more at home on the range.*

**Why did the x-variable move home?**

*She was more comfortable in her own domain.*

**Psychology Teacher: Can anyone use the word "dysfunction" in a sentence?**

*Math Student: I can! "Dysfunction" is really hard to graph.*

**What should you title a graph showing the relative diameters and weights of a batch of pancakes?**

*The Batter Plot!*