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 Start Math Class With a Chuckle! Most of the jokes below can be easily tied to a new math concept to help students reinforce rules and meanings.  And... most importantly they are funny!   How will we ever use negative numbers in the real world? You haven't seen my bank account.   Hey, what's your sign? Negative   What kind of roots does a "geom-e-tree" have? Square roots   Why are the parentheses wearing blue ribbons? Because they always come first   Why was the math teacher upset with cupid? He kept changing "like terms" to "love terms."   Why was the math teacher upset with one of her students? He kept asking, "What's the point?"   Parent: Why do you have that sheet of paper in a bowl of water? Student: It's my homework.  I am trying to dissolve an equation.   Teacher: Why don't you have your homework today? Student: I divided by zero and the paper vanished into thin air.   How do equations get in shape? They do multi-step aerobics.   Why did the variable add its opposite? To get to the other side.   If you give 15 cents to one friend and 10 cents to another friend, what time is it? A quarter to two.   What did the circle see when sailing on the ocean? Pi rates.   Why did the variable break up with the constant? The constant was incapable of change.   Son: Dad, what does it mean when someone tells me to give 110%? Dad: It means they didn't take Algebra.   Banker: Do you have any interest in taking out a loan? Customer: If there's interest, I'm not interested.   Why did the shopper think the store was selling everything wholesale? Because the store had two "half off" signs.   Why did the Moore family name their son Lester? So he could be called "Moore" or "Less".   Why did the parents think their little variable was sick? The nurse said he had to be isolated.   What did the math teacher do to prepare for class? She made a “less-than” plan.   What did the doctor say to the multi-step inequality? I can solve your problem with a few operations.   How does a math teacher get a compound fracture? She breaks her (h)AND    What does an absolute- value expression work on when it goes to the gym? Its “abs”!   What did Miss Manners say to the inequality symbol? It's not polite to point.   What do a Math teacher and an English teacher have in common? They both can make a "pair-a-graph".   Why did the y-variable leave the city? He was more at home on the range.     Why did the x-variable move home? She was more comfortable in her own domain.   Psychology Teacher: Can anyone use the word "dysfunction" in a sentence? Math Student: I can! "Dysfunction" is really hard to graph.   What should you title a graph showing the relative diameters and weights of a batch of pancakes? The Batter Plot!   (Back to Teacher's Main Page)
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